Learn To Love The Unpleasant And The Unlovable

How many times have you needed to love something or someone that was less than desirable? Perhaps you worked for a considerable amount of time to achieve an expected outcome, and the result was not what you envisioned. Can we love that which we do not really desire to have in our lives?

What if a tragedy occurs in your life or happens to a person within your family? A person becomes handicapped or disfigured because of circumstances not of their control, can the person on the other side of that tragedy meet the same expectations and return love? Can you meet the same expectations and return love to them?

Circumstances like this happen more frequently than we would like to believe. So many marriages come unraveled because of changes to physical appearance or emotional attitude toward one another. It would seem the bond of Holy Matrimony in the modern world is a bygone commitment.

It is easy to love the young, vibrant, and shapely woman of your youth, but when childbearing takes a negative turn on her body, can you still love the real woman, or were you only attracted to the physical form?

Perhaps the dependable man you let the world borrow came back from a battlefield less than whole. How do you love the damaged soul that returned when your memories are of an easier time?

In Genesis, chapter 29, Jacob went to his uncle Laban in the country where he lived. He made a deal to work for seven years for his daughter, Rachel. At the end of the seven years, Laban brought her older sister, Leah, to the wedding tent. In the morning, Jacob woke up to an enormous surprise and felt cheated. Laban told him he could not give the younger daughter in marriage before the older daughter. If Jacob wanted to, he could work another seven years for Rachel, but he had to accept Leah as his first wife. Jacob now had an unattractive wife, and he did he want to be married to her.

Something to think about here: there are two sides to every relationship. Jacob thought Laban cheated him, but what about Leah? She is now married to a man who doesn’t want her. God saw this rejection and allowed her to bear children, but would not allow Rachel to bear any children to Jacob. Jacob desired Rachel but rejected Leah. He had to spend years learning to love the one he didn’t want. In ancient times, your prodigy was your wealth and future. Leah gave him sons. Rachel did not.

Leah felt unwanted, unloved, and rejected by Jacob. Her struggle was to be relevant to her husband and her God. Even the names of the boys reflected how Leah felt. First came a boy she named Reuben, which means ‘to see me’. The second son, she named Simeon, which means ‘to hear me’. The third son she named Levi, meaning ‘to be joined with me’. Each birth was an effort to be recognized by Jacob. Would he see me? Would he hear me? Would he join himself to me? The fourth son, she named Judah, which means ‘to give thanks, to give praise’. She has given it over to God and is worshipping Him.  

Altogether, Leah gave Jacob six sons and a daughter. Half of Jacob’s sons resulted from his relationship with Leah.

It took many years, but he learned to love her. She was not his first choice, but she was faithful to him, and the LORD allowed her to continue to bear sons. A wonderful thing came about from this relationship, but it took time and patience for love to grow.

Perhaps in your life right now, there are circumstances you would rather not be in. Be like Leah; call on the LORD and ask Him to intervene in your time of affliction and bless what you have.

Be like Jacob and learn to love what has changed in your relationship and find the treasure that is hidden within.